Heartfelts are the Best Gift!
Last Shabbat, my step-sister and I cooked a wonderful dinner in honor of our parents’ 17th anniversary. We chose foods that were “heirloom” recipes: she made a fresh tomato soup and I baked the special butter cookies that my maternal grandmother used to make,. She also baked a chocolate Babka that was her paternal grandmother’s recipe. It was a totally unconscious way of demonstrating our blended family, one that still includes my mom and her dad.
In lieu of material gifts, we chose to offer them “heartfelts” — gifts of the heart, sharing memories and blessings in poetry and song. Truth be told, it’s been a really tough year. My dad’s health has been a cause of concern (to put it mildly), and the worry is beginning to weary my dear step-mother.
Blending families can sometimes be such a painful experience — I just want to say publicly that I’m proud of how our family handles this. We know there are differences in the way “it’s always been done” from how you load dishes in the dishwasher to (God-forbid), stacking the dirty dishes as they are cleared from the table. Can you tell whose grandmother was German??? This “mixed marriage” — Reform/Conservative (now Reconstructionist) — has worked remarkably well, and we’ve all learned a lot from one another.
I think it’s because we laugh, love and hug each other, and tease my dad about stacking paper plates (apparently, that’s allowed). We say thank you a lot, so in celebration of their anniversary and Thanksgiving, I offer you this piece, full of hope and appreciation.
To Pops and Safta, thanks for being easy to love.
About Marge Eiseman
Marge Eiseman describes herself as The Jewish Peddler and is involved in an array of organizations and activities from radio show host and itinerant Jewish teacher and performer to making music, cooking, reading, writing, storytelling and traveling. She is a member of Congregation Sinai in Milwaukee, WI.